We’re (You’re) Boring
According to recently released cell phone stats, we’re not quite as exciting as we may think we are.
Naturally this fact may already be apparent to those of us who have to stand next to the “Loud Lady†at the grocery store or wind up sitting next to the “Obnoxiously Rude Man†in the restaurant, both of whom believe that the rest of the world wants to be subject to their conversations. While topics ranging from who won the basketball game I was recording or what’s for dinner at the Johnson household may be compelling for some audiences, it is usually, nine times out of ten, really damn boring.
But the cell phone stats back this notion up a little more. With cell phone stats compiled in Europe from location software, it was revealed that individuals with cell phones really didn’t go far. In fact, most simply repeated the same paths from home to work and back again without a single stop-off. While that doesn’t confirm anything along the lines of boringness, that does confirm the fact that people work and, er, go home.
Are statistics like this useful at all? Well, they are for proving the fact that “they†are watching us. In fact, the survey was so secretive that the name of the provider couldn’t even be named. So essentially the survey could have been taken from anywhere in Europe and could have involved the location tracking of just about anyone. It tapped about 100,000 cell phones and not one of them wandered into a strip club, a book club meeting, or a brothel. How utterly tedious!
So are we a boring culture? Probably. Just look at the US elections and you’ll find the awful banal minutiae of each possible candidate for president being raked over time and time again by relentlessly tepid pundits and a gaggle of idiots. We don’t need some cell phone survey to tell us we’re boring, we know this for a fact by simply sticking our heads out the window.
Of course, by “we†I mean all of you. I, most certainly, am not in the least bit boring. Case in point: you read this article.